Lessons for today

In between waking late with a headache, brunch, getting Miss Tizz to JOTA/JOTI (Guides & Scouts Jamboree of the Air/Internet), picking up items for the school market day stall, the car battery dying, voting in the ACT election, briefly visiting MIL, and an early dinner because we'd had nothing since brunch, I received two important messages.

The first was from Zen Habits: How to Make Work Feel Effortless. Now I know that work involves effort, but this was more about not allowing work to become something you drag yourself through each day because you have to. I've been resenting my work for months, because it's become one huge to-do list that is never completed. I have other things I want to do, and I feel like if I take time out to do the things I enjoy that I will pay for it in late nights trying to catch up, and being constantly cranky and snappy. And it's a self-fulfilling prophecy - I am cranky and snappy much of the time, because I'm tired and I'm not enjoying life.

I have my own business and work from home for some very good reasons. I am in control (ok - so it doesn't feel like it much at the moment, but ultimately I'm the one making the decisions about how this business operates). I can be as involved in my family's activities as I want - school assembly at midday? I'm there. Preschool excursion? I'll go along & help. Pick up the kids early & go to the movies one Friday afternoon? Yep - that's happening soon. I don't have to do the daily commute, unless you count the few steps from bedroom to office. I don't have to play office politics. I'm paid according to performance, not the hours I put in. And so on ...

All that is great, so why is it that I've been feeling lured by the idea of a 'normal' job? One that involves regular hours, and one where (most importantly) when you go home, you are off duty. One that involves a clear definition between 'work time' and 'family/home/me time'.

And then this article gave me the wake-up call I needed:

1. Follow your natural rhythms. A lot of the time I resent working is because I’m trying to force myself to do something I don’t feel like doing. Naturally there will always be some things you’re not crazy about doing (like cleaning the toilet). But how often do you force yourself to work more, when you really want to relax? When you force yourself to work when you’ve promised yourself a break, you’ll likely just end up distracting yourself with other things and put off working. Then you get stressed and end up resenting work. Instead, follow your natural rhythms. When you feel like working, work. When you don’t, don’t. Don’t over complicate things.

Resenting ... distracting ... procrastinating. Hmmm ... that sounds familiar. But if I only work when I want to, at the moment I won't get much done at all! I'm already well established in this negative cycle, and perhaps a complete stop is required to get out of it. Perhaps it's time.

2. Do, don’t think. ... Just do, stop thinking about it. Fail, make corrections later.

But ... Actually, no. That makes perfect sense. It's what I do with clients who aren't really sure what they want: get something on paper as a starting point, and then we can modify & refine the ideas from there. But the initial 'do' is vital.

3. Don’t put sugar in your tank. You wouldn’t put sugar in your gas tank right? It doesn’t make much sense to fill your body up with unhealthy fuel either. If you don’t have the energy to get the work you need to done, work will feel forced.

Oops. When things get out of hand, I live on sugar & coffee. Chocolate to keep going at night until the wee hours. Coffee to wake up in the morning. Something sweet to get through the afternoon slump. I know it's not healthy, but it's easy and instant.

4. Remove hidden roadblocks. What’s making you avoid working? What’s making your work seem like drudgery rather than joyful? It might have something to do with your beliefs about yourself. Maybe you believe you’re not good enough, smart enough or don’t have enough experience. Question your beliefs about what you can and can’t do.

I'm often surprised that there are no objections from clients when I send through a big invoice. I have a sneaking suspicion that someone will find out I'm a fraud ...

5. Only do your best. Work can easily become a chore when you’re trying to constantly be perfect. The truth is, some of your ideas might not be so great. Others will be mind blowing. If you can accept that and just do your best, you stop judging yourself. Guess what it feels like when you’re no longer picking over everything you do with a fine toothed comb? It feels extremely liberating. It feels like you can actually enjoy your experience, rather than worrying about how everything is going to turn out. That is working effortlessly.

Ok, so I'm a bit of a perfectionist. I admit it, and that's part of the reason I like working for myself - I have complete control over my product. Unfortunately I also feel like I let myself down when I'm so tired that I make mistakes (and yes, don't tell anyone, but I do occasionally make mistakes. Shhh!).

6. Act from your gut. When you think you have a great idea, believe it. Follow it. Chase it until you’re out of breath and can barely hold yourself up. Because if you don’t trust yourself, you’ll regret it later. The best way to live is to follow your intuition and trust life. If nothing else, trust yourself. Because if you can’t trust yourself, how can you trust your mistrust? That’s not very smart is it?

I've been so focussed on what I should be doing and what I have to do that I've lost track of what I want to do. Take away the demands of work, and it takes me a long time to figure out what I'd like to do with my time.

7. Focus on what matters. Our minds are constantly pulling us in different directions. We have to wash the cat, buy more apple cinnamon oatmeal, finish writing that resignation letter to your no-longer-boss at your dead-end job, and all sorts of other things. We have a tendency to follow what’s urgent instead of what’s important. In order to get the important things done, we have to be ruthless at removing distractions. If it takes bringing a laptop (or notepad) to a cafe to write your grandiose novel, then do that. Avoid the vacuum of minutiae urgency. Remove all distractions so you can focus on the important things. I would much rather spend 4 hours working on an important project, then 4 hours spinning my wheels and scratching my head trying to figure out what I did today.

One of the big downsides of working at home is being busy all day, but not getting any of the important things done. I started following the Zen to Done steps, but I find I baulk at Step 4: Do one task at a time, without distractions. I still write out my diary list most nights, I might even mark the three main things I need to do the next day, but the voice in my head is always telling me to get through these half dozen small jobs first, because then I can concentrate on the big jobs, and guess what? The big jobs don't get a look-in until they're so urgent I can no longer put them off.

8. Refuse to do what you don’t want to do. I often avoid working because I’m trying to do things I think I “should do.” I think I should read more because it will make me smarter. I think I should buy new clothes because it will make me cooler. I think I should work on this project because it will be good for my resume. Forget what you think you should do (except maybe… paying your rent). Do what you want to do. Other people will understand. In fact, they’ll probably envy you.

For me, this isn't about feeling like I should buy new clothes or read more (hang on though - I should read industry mags and websites to keep up with changes ...). What I do need to learn to more effectively is say no: no to clients who I know through experience will be painful to work with, no to jobs that I know will blow out, no to unreasonable deadlines, no to too much work. I can talk about saying no, I can practise saying no, and still I am shocked to hear myself say yes - no problem - of course I can do that. That has to change.

I know I need a major refocus, pretty much in all areas of my life, and there's no time like the present to make a positive change. But where to start? Well, remember at the beginning of this post I said I received two important messages today?

The second message was in the form of a blog post from someone who thinks like I do, and who always seems to have the answers I need to hear. And she did it again :) She didn't write the list, but something made her post it today, just when I needed it. I may not be able to take a holiday right now to reset my life, but I can put some of the simple things on this list into action, and refocus by eliminating the unhealthy aspects of my current existence.

So it's been a big day in some ways, and now I need to step away from the computer and the feeling that I should be working (even though it's Saturday night) and spend some time with my family.

Getting organised

A confession: My natural inclination is towards a vaguely tidied up version of chaos (see previous post about my pantry as an example). I focus & work well under pressure, and I'm a very good procrastinator, which tends to create pressure where it really isn't necessary.

The problem: This is all very well on occasion, but as a regular, on-going thing it's not particularly sustainable, in terms of health, family harmony or the smooth running of life in general. I spend a lot of time looking for things (often for the husband and children), starting and not finishing projects, gathering information and ideas that I can't find when I eventually get round to needing them, skimping on important things like sleep, exercise & having fun with the children, doing things that I actually enjoy, and so on. And the kids have a cranky mummy far too often.

What am I doing about it? My chiropractor mentioned a system called Getting Things Done, which has been around for a few years, and which he has found useful in running his practice & home life. Being the compulsive information-gatherer that I am, I immediately came home and Googled it, read up on it, agreed that it sounded like a good idea (get things out of your head and onto paper or into an electronic data collector, organise them, and do them - Wikipedia summary), and then was put off by the jargon & reliance on geeky technology that made it all far more complicated than it really needed to be. I also wasn't particularly interested in paying for the book (or the Italian leather desk accessories!).

The next step was to ask the chiropractor's wife (who happens to be a friend) about her experience with this system, and whether it was worth buying the book and investing time in setting it up. She recommended a slightly different system, which is how I came across Zen to Done (thanks K!). I started reading, and something resonated with me about this approach. It's very simple, and a progressive thing - you don't need to download your entire life before you start. In fact, I already had the tools - I just wasn't using them as well as I could - so that's where I'm starting.



I have a (paper) diary, and I use the Mozilla Sunbird calendar, which includes a simple task section to track my work projects. We also have a calendar on the fridge for family activities.

Initially I'm focussing on a combination of steps 1, 2 & 3 in Zen to Done (Collect, Process & Plan). As part of Step 1 - Collect I am getting into the habit of carrying a small notepad with a pen, and writing down things I need to remember at the time I get the information or thought. Sometimes I write notes on my hand, sometimes I have little bits of paper or appointment cards floating around in my bag or pocket, and sometimes I still try to remember things until I get home, but I'm trying to use the notepad more consistently.

Step 2 - Process. At least once a day, I transcribe everything. I have a pile of papers and other things to the left of my keyboard, and the immediate aim is for it not to grow! I put calendar items straight into Sunbird, and then either file the note or recycle it. I put contact details into my computer address book (no more looking for a scrap of paper with a phone number!). I put bills into my diary a day or two before their due date (no more late fees!). I open, read & process mail & email. The general rule of thumb is to start at the top and make a decision about every item - delete, deal or defer. Delete or throw out anything you don't need to keep. Deal immediately with anything that will take less than two minutes. Defer bigger jobs and add them to your to-do list (put them in a designated place so you know where to find them when it's time for action - paperwork in a file, sewing repairs on the sewing table and so on). I am working on processing ALL new items EVERY day, and a couple of extras so I will eventually get to the bottom of the pile.

Step 3 - Plan. Each evening before bed, I write a to-do list for the following day in my diary. Appointments go in at the allotted hour, things to be done first thing in the morning go at the top of the page (washing, school notes to go back, etc), paid work projects are listed, then volunteer tasks (e.g. preschool newsletter) and in the notes section at the bottom of the page I add non-time-critical domestic tasks (sewing repairs, phone calls to be made, bills to be paid, etc.). Some of these are things that are already in the calendar, but I find the act of writing them down helps to clarify priorities and works as a reminder. I asterisk a couple of must-do tasks - MITs - Most Important Things or Big Rocks according to Zen to Done, and they're the things I aim to do first the next day.

What's next?

4 do (focus). Habit: do one task at a time, without distractions. This is one of the most important habits in ZTD. You must select a task (preferably one of your MITs) and focus on it to the exclusion of all else. First, eliminate all distractions. Shut off email, cell phone, Internet if possible (otherwise just close all unnecessary tabs), clutter on your desk (if you follow habit 2, this should be pretty easy). Then, set a timer if you like, or otherwise just focus on your task for as long as possible. Don’t let yourself get distracted from it. If you get interrupted, write down any request or incoming tasks/info on your notepad, and get back to your task. Don’t try to multi-task. See How NOT to Multi-Task for more.

This will be the big test for a procrastinator like me ...